How to Set Boundaries in a Relationship (Of All Kinds)

Why do we set boundaries?

What’s the point? What’s the goal?

Well, at some point in your life, it’s likely that parts of yourself went into hiding in order to feel safe or to receive love.

Healing is uncovering and reconnecting to those parts of yourself so you can live life freely as your authentic self and feel safe to do so.

Setting boundaries is a tool to help get you there.

Setting boundaries:

·       Creates healthy relationship dynamics for all involved.

·       Gives you a safe container to heal from past and current pain, trauma and experiences.

·       Allows you to create a life where you feel safe, respected and treated in a way you deserve and that reflects your worth.

I’m sure many, if not all of you, have had a boundary crossed before. Likely many, many times when you were growing up (as we have less agency as children), whether that was the intention or not. But now we have the power to create the dynamics in which we feel most safe and respected.

Boundaries are not:

·       A way to keep out love, joy, support and connection.

·       A way to test people.

·       Other peoples’ job to set for you.

3 Crucial Tips for Setting Healthy Boundaries in Relationships

1. Many people don’t set boundaries because of core wounds. Wounds that can be brought to light and start being healed (ex: people pleasers accommodating other people above themselves for fear of being abandoned or as a way to prove their value to others because they feel they have to earn love).

2. Many people think they’re setting boundaries when they’re actually not.

Not setting a boundary: “Why do you always pop over unannounced?! I hate when you do that!”

Setting a healthy boundary: “I have a very busy schedule and in order to be present and enjoy my time with you, moving forward we’ll need to schedule hanging out ahead of time otherwise I won’t be available.”

3. It is up to YOU to create and uphold your boundaries. Other people must respect them, but they will not create them for you.

Remember – setting boundaries is an act of love. For yourself and other people.

Need support on your journey to setting healthy boundaries and creating healthy relationships? Check out my various offers to see what’s the best fit for you.